you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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