i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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