yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's shark week go big or go home
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
