I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
