another moral hangover. fuck.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
