no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
