No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
bring money and cleavage
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
