Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
