Me. At least after what I've been through.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
