We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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