when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
