gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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