youre lurking in front of me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
