That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
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Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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