sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
