guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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