ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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