i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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