im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
