I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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