I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
