Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
