just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
