i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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