i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
