belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
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High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
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Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.