My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
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In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
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omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I smell like Dick and happiness