i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him