i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I spit up blood this morning
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.