If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'