so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
