kristin has been a bad kristin
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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