Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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