it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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