did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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