if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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