did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
