Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
