You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
