Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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