I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he thought i was a dude.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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