That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
