My cat gives me a boner
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
two words: eviction party
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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