I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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