the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
its not stalking. its research.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm just crazy horny about you
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
