my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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