I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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