I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
