i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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