Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
