i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize