i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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