i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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