It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
