I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
