i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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