I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
