I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
