It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
