Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I could make wine with my vomit
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize