butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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