Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
