Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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