Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's blow job season.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
