WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
